5 Reasons Why You Need Emergency Cash

Reason #1 So you can take impromptu trips to Malaysia, whichever part of it is necessary, and take firefly walks with your boyfriend, and tell him you're feeling crappy, because he seems to be the only person you need to tell it to. The only thing better than taking a bus there would be speeding there in your own car, in the middle of the night.

Reason #2 So you can cut your hair anytime you feel like it, the moment you feel like it, and get it cut by one of those stylists that are so expensive you will like your haircut, even if you don't.

Reason #3 So you can walk into a bar, ask for eighteen tequila shots and down them all, consecutively, and get so drunk you don't actually realize you exist, and then it'll go without saying that you'll have forgotten whatever it is that's making you crappy.

Reason #4 So you can engage in heavy doses of retail therapy - so much that the handles of your shopping bags are slicing into the palms of your hands and it hurts to lift a hand up to shift the article of clothing that's hanging on the horizontally-suspended pole in front of you for a better view and your four-inch closed-toe pumps are paralyzing you knees down and the colours in the shop are blinding you but you keep going because you just have so, much, pent-up energy inside you that can only come out via swipes of your atm card.

Reason #5 So that, even if all of the above-mentioned uncrappyfying methods sound unsatisfactory, you can at least bask in the knowledge that anything in the wide array of choices that your highly emotive state can come up with is possible; that impossible is nothing.